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hey this is Leo for actualised at work and in this video I want to talk about a classic adage which goes whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger now is that true or is that false all right so let's talk about that is it true or false that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger before we dig into that just to let you know I'm standing here in the centre of Toronto downtown Toronto I've got the CN tower behind me but in front of it I've got this giant locomotive which is part of this railroad museum that they have right in the downtown area kind of cool so I thought I'd shoot a video here but I've been thinking lately about this issue of you know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger I want to believe that right and I tend to tell that to people as advice you know when they're going through something difficult and just I just have to say you know use it as as fuel for the road you just fuel to keep you moving keep it going even if so the bad happens to you there's always a silver lining to it etc etc well here in Toronto even go through a pretty bag a pretty bad legal trial and that's been triggering me emotionally quite a bit more so than I've been triggered in a long long long time in fact just the other day I might say I had one of my most brutal days of my life spending eight hours in the courtroom so going through that and some of the emotions that came up for me I've really started to think about this is this situation gonna make me stronger or is it actually gonna make me weaker it's impossible to have a situation that's so bad that you still live through it but in the end you come out crippled maybe not physically crippled but I'm talking about emotionally crippled and what about that is it possible for situations to emotionally crippled you and if it is and it's possible to actually get yourself involved in a mess that will leave you worse off in life than you were before you got into it then does that mean we should be more concerned with the kinds of decisions that we make in life the kind of things that we undertake the kind of projects that we start the kind of businesses maybe we get ourselves involved with or the kind of relationships we go into or anything else like that maybe relationships marriages divorces so here's here's my opinion on this I think in the in the short term in the short term you can definitely get yourself involved in a in a in a pickle and you can definitely kind of paint yourself into a corner and maybe it's with a business or with a relationship that turns into a marriage or something else you can do something so stupid with your life or with your finances that it's gonna take you a long time to recover from it so this can be a very catastrophic mistake and yet even in the short run and even in the medium run if that mistake is very bad it will certainly hinder your performance and it might get you to doubt start down in yourself it might make you fearful it might make you cowardly it might make you retreat into your shell so you don't go out there and you don't live life to the fullest the way that you wanted to so in that sense you know you got to be careful about about some of the stuff you get yourself involved with because it can it can really your life on the other hand I'm also also comes to mind all the scenarios where people have made really really stupid decisions have really up their lives whether through drugs or getting themselves involved with a marriage that then breaks up and then they lose a large chunk of their money or you know getting scanned and some sort of Ponzi scheme or maybe getting getting fraud it out of some money because of some business transaction didn't go their way or just some bad luck maybe a death in the family a death of someone that's really close to you a child a spouse a loved one a parent yeah so so those those really tough cases what's going to happen is that basically in the short and medium term they're gonna feel very very bad you can feel very painful and you're just kind of like give yourself some breathing to kind of grieve through it work your way through it and kind of have the fears come out and play that whole game and so that's gonna that's gonna have to happen and in that time as that's happening to you is starting to snow here is as that's happening to you you are going to feel like this is something that's very miserable and you're gonna feel like this is something that should not be in your life and that you are cursed with misfortune for having this now certainly how I felt the last few days about this trial is I felt like I would give anything to not do it I would give anything to just like pull myself out so I don't have to deal with it I wish it's never happened I wish I may have just different decisions in the past so that I would have gotten into this trial in the first place okay fair enough but I did but even today I'm feeling much better about it I think that it's it's it's the tough you know you might you might make the case and say well what about like a rape what about a near-death experience what about if someone like kidnapped you and starts torturing you like in that kind of scenario is a better for that to not have happened isn't that better I mean doesn't that make sense wouldn't it be nicer to just like cut out all that traumatic or like if you lose someone close to you isn't it better that you didn't lose that person you know I don't know I think ultimately actually I think there is a deep core truth and I think this is Annie she's Nietzsche Frederick Nietzsche said this is that whatever doesn't kill you truly makes you stronger and and that's because yeah that doesn't mean that it's gonna feel good in the moment that doesn't mean it's gonna feel good a week or a month afterwards but ultimately what it does is to build a certain psychological resilience within you and especially those really trying times those can be times that really define your character those can be times that then create new sources of motivation that you can use to go out there and take on big projects that you wouldn't have otherwise done those can be that's gonna be really powerful life shaping events and those kind of catastrophic failures whether you lose a business or a loved one or something like that you know it makes you so much more so much more appreciative of what you have so much more appreciative of what you had and then in the future when you go out and you still become successful you still you know you're still gonna take action and do new things and find you people to love and get into relationships have new marriages what its gonna do is it's gonna make you much more grounded and stable that's my feeling right now because I went through this trial the other day and how I feel like it's like it's so easy I was bitching and moaning about how to come out here and like shoot and it is really cold out here so my fingers are really nam in fact a video I was shooting on the seashore here in Toronto you got so cold I was literally worried that I would have frostbite because I was shooting a video and I my fingers were I'm gonna feel my fingers and I was out there solo Nicole to get the right shot and it feels like this is head this is heaven compared to what I went through yesterday so to me this is like oh this is so nice this is so nice it makes everything else so much easier and I think that that's that's literally what is going on here is that you know your psychology because more robust it's kind of like like skin right we've got when you've got sensitive skin and you keep puncturing it and you keep you keep putting wear and tear on it what happens is it starts to build up a callus and the skin starts a hard enough and tough enough and extra layers of skin grow and it builds up a palace so then in the future when you're poking and prodding at that skin it doesn't bleed it doesn't rip quite as easily it's very resilient and that's what's that's what's literally also happening with your technology as you're going through life and experiencing tough events if your life is just all smooth sailing and you have good luck and money just comes your way and you happen to get into awesome relationships and everything just happens to be working out in your business if that's your life I mean wow that's first of all congratulations you're extremely lucky you're very rare to have that but also you better pray every single day that that luck continues because you know what if one day it runs out man you're going to be in a world of because that skate basically have said that the in layers can than anything can puncture it they basically would have to be literally doing is praying for a bit luck so that nothing comes along it punctures it because if it does it's gonna rip apart very easily and you're gonna basically point out by the other hand if you're kind of life where you have horrible luck bad relationships you get involved with the wrong people that business you're losing money everywhere just all this stuff that keeps happening to you I mean yes that's tough and sure I would not want to trade places with you but on the other hand you're building up you're building up a lot of psychological resiliency that tough skin that calluses building up in your mind and that's actually making you very very resourceful maker making you very powerful from that place you can actually accomplish amazing things and many people many celebrities many politicians many many big movers and shakers and life entrepreneurs people that have really influence deciding in a positive way they've come from exactly these kinds of places and the reason that is is because once they go through that trauma once they go through all the trials and tribulations they come out with a very thick skin very robust mentality a psychology that will let them handle the worst of what the world can throw out you and sometimes the world where throat will throw a really hard punch and if you're not ready for it if you've never been hit by a hard punch in your life then that's gonna that's gonna really sting you and a lot of times it will totally derail you no pun intended it will derail you off your tracks and off your course in life whereas if you're if you're suffering a little bit here and there that's actually good that's actually how it should be so ultimately I think that you have to you have to just kind of like push through push through push through stay on your track stay on course and yes you're gonna have tough times you have times where you think you're gonna you have to quit you're gonna have tough tough times that you think you wouldn't have ever wanted on yourself and that you just wish could have been taken back but you know let some time pass don't be too quick to judge if it's a really traumatic event let a couple months pass let a couple years pass and see what happened to you maybe you can analyze your past and see you probably have a couple of traumatic events you can already analyze what you're gonna see is that actually you're probably gonna be very grateful for the fact that you have that experience and now that is a foundation on which you can build your life you can build your grand castle right all right so that's it that's just what I have to say about whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger ultimately I think it's a very very true statement maybe I would make an exception for very extreme circumstances like if you were kidnapped and tortured or raped but I think that there's even a case to be made that even in those situations there is a there's still a several silver lining and that you can actually use those situations to to create a very powerful kind of life so don't get discouraged if you're going through something like that I just went through a traumatic event just the other day with my courtroom trial but now I'm feeling feeling alright not too worried right now even though I still don't know the result of it so we'll see but here I'm gonna go right now and check out the CN Tower if they'll let me up there and get a whole view of the City of Toronto that would be cool cuz I'm flying out of here tomorrow morning alright this is Leo I'm signing off go ahead post me your comments down below please like this please share it and of course come check out actualise alright sign up to our newsletter I'm releasing new videos new articles other goodies for you every single week about how to self actualize how to master your own psychology so that you can create an extraordinary kind of life a lot of tips a lot of tricks a lot of strategies the big picture understanding of how to do that all right you don't want to miss that stuff out sign up follow along because I'm releasing new material all the time and I find that it takes it takes a while for your brain to catch on to this stuff so one video is nice you can use it right off the bat I hope you can 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